heartbroken

I have been through a really terrible heartbreak once and I really really hope that it will not happen again. it is sooooooo painful it just feel like my heart being stabbed by a really sharp knife. Now, Allah has helped me once more to prevent me from involving in that heartbroken series again. I am really thankful Ya Allah. Alhamdulillah thank you Allah. But then a thought just wander in my mind, am I being fated to be alone ? If I really am, Ya Allah please take away those feelings from me as it just make me hurt. Please let me neutralize my heart. I do not want to be involved with these kind of things anymore. Seriously :'(

Actually...I care

Assalamualaikum.
Days passed, months passed, years passed, there are so many people I have met in each phase that I passed. In all the phases. I met new friends or even new best friends. I admit that I REALLY suck at keeping in touch. Sometimes I am too lazy to wish their birthdays too cause yes I am suck at that. My bad. Friends from past keep thinking that I forgot them, throwing them away from my life but actually I AM NOT. 

Today, I got a shocking news from my secondary school friend that one of our friend facing the death of her brother. It really breaks my heart. Really. Cause I knew what she's like when she's sad and knew that she is a bright person but thinking she's crying gloomily... it breaks my heart. The worse part is, I am no help to her in this situation.

Dear friends...I don't care whether I met you in kindergarten, primary school or even tuition classes, please remember that I really care for you as long as you still consider me being your friend.

Sincerely,

Dyra Haiyi

Can I move on ?

When you decided to move on, ask yourself :

Will I be okay if he/she suddenly with somebody else ?
Will my heart never flutter again when we see him/her ?
Can I coolly take it when him/her act nice to me ?
If I ever have a dream about him/her, will I be okay ?
Do I not missing him/her ?
What if I feel the presence of him/her in anything that I do ?
Will I be really okay if EVERYTHING ended with him/her ?

If the answers are mostly YES, then you are good to move on. You really and should be moving on. But.. if the answers are mostly NO, you still have that person in your heart. you just cannot simply throw everything you've had with that person away. you can try but the outcome are usually blurry and these questions will still be answered with NO answer. and as for me, my answers are mostly no. so, what should I do next ?

Dyra Haiyi

setelah sekian lama menyepi

erm hai *lelambai*
this is awkward.. yela dah bertahun tak update. i don't know what got into me right now. actually I have to study for Corporate Ethics test tomorrow but I can't. there are lotssssssssssssssssss of things for me to write here but I don't know where should I begin first. 

Okay for my latest life update, Alhamdulillah I'm going for internship at PETRONAS KLCC next year for 7 months. I got to be in Drilling Performance Department and I'm quite excited about it. You know this time I should be thinking about what to wear ? what bag should I carry ? what shoes and yadda yadda. I'm zooooo ekzaitedd ! NOT. Im still quite scared to be facing it but I'll try my best ! *pinky promise* apart from getting offer from PETRONAS, I successfully got offered by Accenture after two-staged interview but because of some reasons, I have to reject it. sedih tau terpaksa reject. dah la tukang interviewer tu baik baik belaka. elaun pun RM1000 :'( Nonetheless, just pray for me :)

Okay next ! 

I am soooooo tired of being single. seriously. most of my friends already found their soulmate inshaallah but me ? am I gonna be single forever ? honestly, I AM FREAKING OUT. yes, I am. right now, I DONT EVEN HAVE A CRUSH. yes. PLEASE FREAK OUT. but maybee I still could not move on. It's hard. really. *pats own shoulder* I always told my girls that I want a man that almost resembles him. almost or even a bit. he got a BIG impact on my life. VERY BIG. everything I do or everywhere I go will remind me of him. crazy huh ? and what about him ? those time that I think of him, probably he's just sitting there eating popcorn or playing games or just love himself or whatever. and I'm here in pain dok teringat kat dia. sometimes aku rasa macam dah di minyak dagukan. HAHAHAHA TOLONG GELAK BERAMAI-RAMAI. just please....GET OUT OF MY HEAD, SOUL, MIND AND HEART ! 

apa-apa pun, before graduation in 2016, I MUST HAVE MY CALON SUAMI. I HAVE TO ! *insert ceramah motivasi.mp3*

Mobile Blogger

Assalamualaikum. time tengah type entry ni jakun sikit. sebab apa ? sebab ni tengah bukak Blogger kat apps phone je dik nonn. punya laa easy measy nak hapdate. tapi taktau la pulak font dia jadi camne kan. risau jadi gabak la pulak. haha takpe la. apa yang jadi gua terima je. yang penting senang nak menuleh dalam blog kesayangan ni. miumiumiu *bunyi si gedik mintak penampar*

love, 

Dyra Haiyi ❤️

p/s: selalu signature buat kat belah kanan. ni terpaksa belah kiri sebab takde button kanan, kiri mahupun center T.T

cinta Tuhan atau manusia ?

Kenapa nak cari cinta ?
Cinta buat kita merana
Cinta buat kita berduka
Cinta buat kita terluka
Semua sudah maklum
Kenapa masih cari cinta ? 

Cinta kepada manusia..
Manusia mudah lupa.
Alpa, tak ingat dunia.
Buat apa cari lagi ?

Kenapa tak cinta Tuhan je ? 
Tuhan tu kekal, penyayang, pemurah dan semua 99 sifat ada pada Dia.
Dia.. sentiasa sayangkan kita. 
Cintakan kita.

Jadi, perlu ke cinta manusia ?
Perlu. 
Kalau manusia tu dapat tambahkan cinta kita pada Tuhan.

Itu sebenarnya cinta yang kita kena cari. 

Dyra Haiyi

lalalaaa hari hari kerjaa

Assalamualaikum
hari ni kerja lagi *sigh*. baru setengah bulan kerja. nia ada lagi 3 bulan ni ? entah laa macam mana. harap semuanya okayy. tapi kan tak sangka. tetiba rasa cam rindu utp. zzzz dulu punya laa bila nak habis sem bila nak habis sem. kali ni dah rindu pulak. poodah ! harap cuti 4 bulan ni tak membosankan gua. hmm 

p/s: mungkin sebenarnya aku rindu kawan kawan kat utp kot. bukan utp. zzz

yang tetiba rindu utp,

Dyra Haiyi

thank you for reading

Assalamualaikum.

heyy its 9.57a.m . what am i still doing here updating trashy things in my blog ? why am i not going to class ? i skipped class ? nahh, no class today. in fact, there are NO CLASS AT ALL THESE 4 MONTHS. yeah baybehh. got swag huh ? *wink* i'm having my 4 months break uollss !! *nari keling berputar* sangat seronok rasanya dapat berjauhan dengan UTP buat sementara waktu. kihkih

so, what do i do during this break ? kerja laa apa lagi. bezanya cuti kali ni aku dah tak kerja kat tadika. sob sob :'( me miss tadika sooo much. bezanyaaa kali ni aku dipaksa kerja dengan my momma. memang adatlah setiap kali cuti ibu akan paksa kerja dengan dia. tapi selalu aku tepis je menggunakan kuasa ninja saktiku. tapi this time, i really couldn't run from it. cause this is about future. my future. my family future. our future. baru 20 tahun aku dah kena fikir jauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh ke depan. ehh 20 ? belum belum. masih 19. hihi the conclusion is, during this break i'm working with my momma. kay fullstop.

talking about that future things, yeah i maybe act childish, talk insane, often goofing around and such but that just totally my outer self. for my inner self, i have been thinking a lot of things for a lot of people and finding solution and relating my past with the future and yadda yadda. i love being alone when i'm thinking but eventually those thoughts will end up ate my soul as i get too emotional when i did not get the solution for my future. not too emotional i'd say. that just a bit too exaggerated. when i am on my bad mood, i rarely show people how terrible i feel, how gloomy my face is and how much tears i have been shed because i don't want people to know what i'm going through. i'd rather keep them by myself. sometimes i just can't keep all the problems in my head. so, i will find trusted friends to share my problem. its quite hard to find a good listener these day but i'm quite fortunate to have some trusted and loyal friends that will listen to my stories, my complaint, my whine. they really brighten me up ! they made my day :') even though sometimes i didn't share my problems but just some trash-talk, crush-chat, girly-gossip or nonsense things to them. i am still glad that finally i get feedback to what i want to share with people.

to whoever that accidentally read my blog and this entry (only friends will read my blog though :>), i just want you to know that i miss you so much that i feel like crying right now :'( and and i am so glad to have you in my life. please don't get bored of me and please don't shut me off your life. i love you so much and i want to keep you forever. Amin

kawan adalah manusia yang berdiri di sekeliling mu.
bezanya tujuan dia berdiri disitu.
untuk menemanimu
atau sebagai hentian RnR-nya.

bila baca balik dari atas sebenarnya tak terfikir pun nak tulis entry emotional. huu dyra dyra *geleng kepala*

p/s : i hope that my future husband is a good listener ;) btw, err rindu UTP sikit. kbai

manusiayangmungkinpmssebabemotaktentupasal,

Dyra Haiyi

Mr. Caffeine got me awake

Assalamualaikum.
i don't know what got into me tonight. suddenly i got the feel to write something in this place. i miss you blog. really do. but i'm to lazy to update anything. me is bad :(

i think this entry will be random. just any random things maybe ? it is because i don't want to sleep tonight. I've had Mocha Freppe' from Mc Cafe just now and there is no sign of sleepiness since then. this is the power of caffeine that owns me tonight. haha i lose to you Mr. Caffeine. me back off :>

so, i'm going 20 next year. big number huh ? yeaaa i'll start to have those -ty behind my age. people will no longer look me as a kid. they will definitely hoping me to act like an adult. i want to act like one but you see, it's quite hard for me to just suddenly dress up properly, talk a little softly, not making any nonsense, not watching cartoons, can take care of everything myself and bla bla bla. IT IS HARD. but actually, my parents sometimes believe that i can take care of things myself. they just give some advice on what i did. i really appreciate those trust. i love being trusted. i feel important. even sometimes i did mistakes, please correct me but don't get angry with me. i'm still in the state of learning. i'll easily give up if people start to give up on me. really. yeahh u wont understand me. me myself hard to figure out about me sometimes. *sigh*

talking about trust, u see, ermm hmm this is one of the reason i like my crush. he trusted me. he never get angry with me even i did wrong even though sometimes i wasted his time. when i got panicked with troubles, he will calm the situation down by giving ideas and not letting me get panicked by myself. and of course, he didn't even scold me. hmm i miss you. i wish you were here. it's a tough sem for me. i know you can't do anything to solve my grieves but i need you here :/ I've always asked myself, "kenapa baru sekarang nak suka dia ? kenapa sebelum ni tak nak amik kisah langsung pasal dia ? kenapa tak sedar dia dari awal lagi ?" and now, i regret every seconds of not noticing him. he is different. different from all other crushes I've had before. even though someday we might not be together, i don't regret falling for him as i learned something from liking him. 

i just want this sem to end quickly. really quick and i'll be having my 4 months break. i want to have a break from thinking of all these bullshits in UTP. please let me stay strong these 4 months Ya Allah. i need strength and guidance :'( Aminnn.

p/s : i hate getting pressured when i'm not in a good mood. and i really dislikes making my small problem to be bigger during my not-so-good-mood time. so, if i ignore you, please understand. i want my 'me' time.

please be quick 4 months ,

Dyra Haiyi

jatuh tangga

jatuh cinta.
macam jatuh tangga.
kau takkan berhenti bergolek selagi takde penghalang.
macam tu la jugak cinta.
selagi tak ada sebab, cinta takkan berhenti.
terus bergolek. 
tapi sakit.

Dear God, the only thing i ask of You is to hold him when i'm not around, when i'm much too far away.

p/s : distance is such a good heartbreaker. 

Dyra Haiyi

this is serious

#np A Thousand Years Part 2 - Christina Perri ft Steve Kazee
dah bertahun tak update blog ni. haha
hmm bila update je pasal crush. update je crush. boring betul. tapi nak buat macam mana. dah benda ni paling menggangu otak, jiwa, raga. haihhh tak terdaya menahan nya haa. ni the same crush yang a friend tu. frankly speaking, sejak suka budak ni, dah tak pandang dah laki lain. dulu aku laa yang paling giat buat aktivti usha mengusha ni. sekarang ni, no more. satu perkembangan yang positif for me (Y) tapi entah laa. susah nak predict perasaan orang ni. masalahnya takut misinterpret how he layan me. sekali gua je syok sendiri sensorang. sedih sebenarnya. lepas ni dah no chance dah. blame on distance ! rasa macam nak confess. tapi tak berani :S tak nak rosakkan what do we have now. a friendship.

but you make me wanna act like a girl

paint my nails and wear high heels

for you make me so nervous that i just can't hold your hand

u make me glow but i cover up won't let it show

so i'm puttin my defenses up

cause i don't wanna fall in love

if i ever did that, i think i'll have a heart attack

heart attack,

Dyra Haiyi

masalah hati. Ar-Rahim Ar-Rahim

everything is actually easy to be handled but not for feeling. we cant force it to just simply like or dislike anything. and now im in this hard situation right now where i actually have a crush on one of my friend. susah untuk disimpan tetapi susah untuk diluahkan. saya tersepit antara dua. diluah mati emak ditelan mati bapak. kalau confess, ada dua kemungkinan, 1. dia akan terima 2. dia tak terima dan kami akan jadi awkward selama lamanya. and i dont want that number 2 to happen at all. tapi bukan senang untuk predict whats the solution. so daripada tak bercakap langsung baik stay like this. like a normal friend. just like always. cumanya kena tahan diri. simpan perasaan dalam dalam. kalau dia ditakdirkan dengan orang lain, terima dengan hati terbuka. kalau dia sebenarnya Adamku, Alhamdulillah ya Allah :') now, i just have only one way to solve this. keep praying. Ya Allah, bukalah hatinya agar nampak perasaan sebenarku dan semoga dapatlah dia menerima diriku. tetapi jika dia bukan untukku, kau buang lah perasaan ini selama lamanya dan kuatkan lah hubungan persahabatan kami. Aminnn Ya Rabbal Alaminn. 

pemasalah hati,

Dyra Haiyi

fake aint for attention

Assalamualaikum. 
nampaknya Cik Irma terasa laa dengan blog post kita. hewhew tak memasal je dapat special entry dalam blog dia. aww, terharu i. hikhik nak tengok click sini : http://budakampungkekotaan.blogspot.com/2013/04/birthday.html#

Irma, 
mula mula aku terkejut jugak. tapi lamalama aku fikir positif balik mesti kau pun sebenarnya nak join kan ke'fake'an aku ni. haha actually, post previous aku ni bukan mainly pasal kau. hanya 0.5% je. yang lain tu pasal orang lain. hihi lagipun takkan ko nak lupa 7/7 yang aku non stop ingatkan korang dulu kan. wakaka kay ingat pulak zaman form 4 == so, jangan laa anda risau. saya tak sedih sebab anda kerana anda pahatkan 7/7 tu dalam hati anda :3 

okay dah habis pasal cik ighma_awesome ni. 

rupanya hari ni kes fake birthday ni tak habis lagi. ada pulak orang kata kami ni attention seeker. (sobs) haihh cakap laa apa pun tapi why attention seeker why ?? bila first time kami nak buat benda ni, TAK PERNAH LANGSUNG terlintas untuk cari attention mahupun publisiti murahan atau mahalan. TAKDE LANGSUNG. Alhamdulillah lah selama aku hidup 18 tahun berapa bulan ni, dah cukup dah attention yang aku dapat from my family and friends. aku tak nak mintak lebih pun. apatah lagi dari strangers. kalau aku nak seek attention baik aku buat post post pelik dekat twitter kata nak bet apa apa confirm esoknya populariti naik buff buff tebaboom. ingin aku ulang balik reason why we make this fake birthday adalah untuk test rakan rakan rapat ( mostly kawan sekolah ) adakah mereka masih ingat. kalau tak ingat, kami nak wujudkan balik budaya saling mengingati walaupun dah terpisah. we just wanna touch your mind to alert your friends birthday cause not everything you can get easily. even fb can give you false information. 

kau ingat aku suka ke nak buat benda ni ? time before nak buat aku fikir banyak kali tau. takut menyinggung mana mana pihak. tapi aku terpaksa buat untuk tau the true colours of the real you. aku seorang yang ego. tapi kalau aku dah mintak maaf banyak banyak kali tu means that i am really sorry. lagipun aku bukan gelakkan korang yang wish aku semalam pun. aku anggap korang wish aku awal. takde salahnya pun. nanti birthday aku yang betul takyah wish dah. yelah mana tau kot tak sempat (nauzubillah) at least aku dapat merasa korang wish aku. kann. 

sorry for the thousand times,

Dyra Haiyi

BIRTHDAY

its all about birthday. 
my actual birthday is on 7th of July. tapi semalam on 7th of April, gua dengan Syiqin decided untuk tukar tarikh birthday on that 7th of April tu. tujuan kami buat fake birthday tu BUKAN untuk suka suka troll orang, cari publisiti murahan dan sebagainya. tapi sebenarnya kami nak test our close friends, adakah mereka ingat birthday kami atau hanya bergantung kat facebook je untuk wish. aku ingat lagi zaman sekolah menengah dulu. mana ada active fb pun. time tu pakat guna myspace je. itupun birthday alert bukan benda yang penting sangat pun. so, kalau nak ingat birthday kawan kawan memang kena usaha sendiri. tulis kat calendar ke apa. tambah tambah bila masuk merbok, asrama. memang langsung takde social network. jadi memang kena pandai pandai laa ingat birthday kawan kawan kita. Alhamdulillah aku still ingat jugak birthday my close friends yang dari RPS sampai laa ke UTP ni. 

tapi, sejak fb dah menguasai diri ni, aku dah tak heran langsung dah nak ingat birthday sesapa. sebab tau. akan ada yang remind kita. jadi memang aku ngaku laa. mostly aku wish birthday tu sebab aku tengok kat tepi news feed aku tu je. hanya secebis je yang aku ingat. but then my close friends here selalu macam try try tanya birthday si A birthday si B bilaa. so starting from that i know, i must start to remember their birthdate. lagi satu pulak yang kes macam Meena Ramli tu. aku tau birthday dia 1 december. aku ingat even hari before tu. dah terniat pun nak wish. tiba hari yang berkenaan aku tak wish pun. huu aku lupa. aku on fb. tapi aku tak wish. sebab apa ? sebab dia HIDE birthday dia. and NO ONE wish her. aku rasa bersalah sangat. so i made a post birthday wish for her. sejak dari tu i note myelf to NEVER FORGET my friends birthday. dan itulah salah satu sebab aku buat fake birthday semalam. actually, aku tak kisah kalau kawan kawan utp taktau birthday aku bila. sebab korang pun baru kenal aku. tapi yang rapat rapat tu memang tak patut laa kalau lupa. but then, the shocking thing is, some of my closest friends dari sekolah pun wish semalam. i was hurt badly yesterday. sumpah sedih. 

walaupun aku sedih rupanya ada jugak yang sangat marah aku buat fake birthday ni. aku mintak maaf sangat dari hujung rambut ke hujung kaki sebab buat benda ni semalam. ya, aku rasa bersalah. tapi aku tetap bersyukur sebab aku dapat jawapan dari testing yang aku reka ni. aku terharu korang wish aku. tapi kenapa perlu korang marah aku buat fake birthday ni sedangkan sebagai seorang kawan, u should know that fact without a single help from the fb. 

sorry sangat emo. tak aku tak puas hati dengan orang orang (bukan sorang) yang marah kami buat birthday ni gila gila. padahal we pun ada hak untuk marah sebab how unappreciated we feel. but you know me, i will just forgive and forget :) i will never do this anymore. bagi sesapa yang tak kuat hatinya, saya nasihatkan JANGAN BUAT FAKE BIRTHDAY. kau akan merana. 

dan dan dan, 

awak awak awak, kita berkawan sebab Allah. bukan sebab FB. 

saya betul betul mintak maaf,

Dyra Haiyi

kahwin.

Assalamualaikum.
haha sila gelak sambil lempang diri sendiri lepas baca tajuk entry gua. okay sebenarnya ada benda nak cite sikit pasal kahwin ni. terfikir pasal tajuk ni pun lepas baca blog Dahniar Darwin atau nama manjanyeww, ninie. hewhew salahkan ninie ! sebab dia laa gua buat entry peliks peliks ni. hahaha maafkan saya niaaa :3 *muka comel kuasa turbo 2.0*

sebenarnya nak cite, kawan aku, atau lagi rapatnya, kakak homeroom aku, Saiyidah Farah Athirah yang umur dia sama dengan aku, 19 tahun, akan BERKAHWIN 1 May ni. 1 May 2013. ya tahun ni. ya la lepas final exam aku ni laa. terkejut kann ? terkejut GILAA kan ? hahaha relax relax, saya takde niat pun nak troll anda semua, masalahnya benda ni realiti kott. gua tarak tipu punyaa maa. so, rakanrakan Merbok, mari kita bersiap siaga untuk berkumpul 1 May ni ! oh yeahh :D *nari keling* ohh lupa nak bagitau. bakal suami Farah tu kawan sekolah rendah saya. kbye. namanya Syed Muhd Zulhilmi. kayy dunia memang kecik. duadua orang yang saya kenal akan mendirikan rumahtangga tak lama lagi. (ulasan si fogheber alone. sobs)

hoh, lagi nak cite, haritu kannn, ni scene depan hospital lepas jenguk atuk sakit. Alhamdulillah sekarang atuk dah lotssssssa better. thanks for the dua's everyone :') okay sambung balik. ibu tengah bebel bebel laa pasal problem yang jadi dalam hidup dia. then dia cakap laa

"Tu laa Dira, nanti nak kawin, cari laa elok elok blablabla"
"Alaa, Dira tak reti cari. ibu laa cari kan. ikut je kriteria yang ibu nak. Dira ikut je"
"Takde takde. ibu taknak carikan. cari sendiri"
"Alaa ibu laa cari."

lepas tu tetiba opah yang berada di sisi kami menyampuk,

"HAA, betul ke Dira nak ? opah boleh carikan !"

dengan penuh semangat opah aku jawab. speechless terus -.- dan terus aku geleng tanpa disedari. tettt

then ni lagi satu scene. haritu Kak Nora bertunang, lepas tu ada laa hantaran tunang yang dia dapat dari pihak laki. ada laa sekali tepak sireh kan (ceyy tepak sireh ni laa highlight nya :p) ni cerita dah habis kenduri laa ni. kami geng geng perempuan + makciks pun berkumpul laa depan hantaran tu nak mengcukai sikit hantaran tersebut sambil bergosip. time bukak bukak hantaran tu, Kak Yang (kakak Kak Nora, dah kawin dan dah ada anak) dia pun sibuk uruskan tepak sireh. lepastu dia cakap dengan suara yang kuat,

" Haa anak anak dara, sape yang nak kawin cepat meh sini makan sireh ! "

aku pun terkejut. 'betol ke makan sireh boleh kawin cepat ?' soalan tu keep playing in my head. hahaha then aku saje buat buat tanya ibu,

"Ibu, orang makan sireh tu untuk apa ?" buat muka blur padahal tadi dah dengar sebab apa :P
"Saje laa orang orang tua kata kalau makan sireh tu boleh cepat kawin."
"Kalau macam tu Dira nak makan jugak la !" berkata lah aku kepada si ibu dengan nada yang excited di depan makcik makcikku sambil penuh kegatalan tergambar di mukaku. ibu pun terkejut sebab i never show her the gatal side of me since i ever lived. that was the first time. lepastu aku pun pergi kat Kak Yang, Kak Yang pun tau tujuan aku datang kat dia untuk apa. haha dia pun bagitau laa step step balut sireh tu. then dia kata before makan sireh tu kena bismillah, selawat and niat dulu. niat apa ?? haa tu rahsia laa. niat tu sendiwi simpann laa. so, aku pun makan laa sireh tersebut. rupanya ianya pahit dan mengebaskan mulut. ohmyy pedas pedas pulak tu. then Kak Yang yang agak-err-memang kecoh tu cakap laa dengan kuat yang aku rasa rumah depan pun boleh dengar,

"Mak Ngah (panggilan cousin aku untuk mak aku), ni Dira ni dah makan Sireh ni haa. nanti prepare le dapat menantu baru."

ohmyyy. aku malu. maluuuuuuuuu. aku taktau la cemana boleh gatal sangat aku hari tu. haihh rasa nak tampar diri sendiri. lols

ohh lupa. lepas tu Kak Lin (kakak Kak Nora and Kak Yang, tak kawin lagi, doktor) cakap,

"Kamu jangan gatal Dira. belajo dulu sampai habis baru kawin."

lepas tu the best part is, ibu balas,

"Takpe Mak Ngah tak kisah dia nak kawin time belajar pun."

omjayyy. aku.sumpah.terkejut.jpg SERIOUS AKU TAK SANGKA ibu boleh cakap camtu. rasa nak jerit kat satu dunia ' Wehhh mak aku bagi kawin wehhhh ! ' haha jangan berangan laa Dira, calon pun takdo. krik krik krik krik ~

tapi ibu still la ada bagi syarat dia kan. syarat dia tak payah tulis kat sini laa kot. cukup laa cerita yang amat sangat panjang tu aku ringkaskan. pheww penat type.

so konklusinya sekarang, i'll just wait for the jodoh and dushhhh terus kawin. memandangkan ibu pun dah approve :3 hikhik okay sumpah aku gatal, tolong tampar aku sampai aku sedar please.

Allahumma Zawwijni Zaujan Soolihan. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin :)

p/s: maafkan saya pada sape yang nak termuntah tanpa henti lepas baca entri ni. sobs :'( nah baldi ! \_________/

Si Fogheber Alone Yang Mintak Penampar Sebab Gatal Sangat,

Dyra Haiyi

just wanna leave out all the rest

Bismillah..
finally all came out. why it should be questioned ? is it that wrong ? that is actually how i wanted to express myself. my true self. yeah maybe it was too sudden act. very sudden. i just didn't know what got into me last week. i felt so contained, happy, loved and all. and why is it wrong ? i just want to express it. it is a good suggestion actually but that words hurting me a lil bit. i just wanna back up. can i ? i dont have the approval. no i have it but.. that's just not right. being too happy is not a good thing too. i am too serabut. many things to be done yet nothing started. should take a rest now. no, im going to watch my running man. its healing me. no, actually i should refer back to The Creator. He will be hearing me. definitely. Ya Allah, please forgive me. help me, i dont know what to do anymore. i just feel like i want to leave out all of these things. Ya Allah, please help and save me :'(

me,

Dyra Haiyi 

she is my soul sister :3

hey soul sister ~ tarakucha tarakucha cha cha. ehh salah lagu. okay ignore it. jadi hari ini, tarikh ini, yang bersamaan dengan 18 March 2013 merupakan hari jadi Siti Nurul Azah binti Mohd yang ke 19. wohoo wohooo *bunyi mercun* *bunyi belon meletop* *bunyi drum* *bunyi kentut* okay. back to the topic. so, ni first time makcik ni sambut birthday kat negara orang. wooo tapi takpe. kakak dia ada kat sana. kan kan kan :3 tapi how i wish i can wish you through the phone. *sigh* takpe la yuyu, aku buat apa yang termampu je okieess. nanti kau balik claim hadiah tau tau tau. ngeee tapi ole ole mesir untuk aku jangan lupa pulak. hehe 

so this is the wish,

Dear Azah,
semoga panjang umur murah rezeki. semoga hidup sentiasa dirahmati. umoq dah 19, act pun kena 19 jugak. alaa tapi kau memang dah matang sikit punn. sikit je laa. sebab banding dengan aku kannn :/ duduk negara orang jaga diri, jaga peribadi, jaga sahsiah. semoga jadi seorang muslimah yang lebih baik, dapat jodoh lelaki soleh. kalau rasa dugaan tu berat sangat, ingat Allah sayang kita lebih. be grateful that you have us. family, friends will always be there for you. anything just tell me okay :')

last but not least, 

Sannah Helwah Ya Ukhti ❤

*sebab orang tu duduk arab kena laa wish dalam bahasa arab jugak kann :p*

ce teka gambar bila ? haha

okay nothing to say more. i love you. muahmuah :3

with love,

Dyra Haiyi

sorry for the words

rasa bersalah. sangat sangat. memang salah aku ke ? sorryyyy :'( i shouldn't say that. 
terlajak perahu boleh diundur,
terlaka kata buruk padahnya.

SorrySorrySorry,

Dyra Haiyi

this one friend of mine

i am so sad. terribly sad. here i am. going to bed at 2 a.m and suddenly woke up and hear some songs while writing in my blog at 4 a.m and have to wake up at 6.30 a.m so that i can rush to the event at 7.30 a.m. nak jadi apa pun jadi la. aku taktau apa yang buat sampai aku tak boleh tidur ni. bila fikir balik mungkin banyak unsolved thinking kot. and apa yang menyedihkan sangat tu adalah pasal that one friend of mine. before, i can tolerate how selfish that person is cause i knew that that person still needs time to learn how to make and to have many friends eventhough there's one time that this person really hurt my feeling so much. that person ignored how important i am to make the decision together. that person really didnt care how would i end up this semester. yeah this situation happened last semester. you know, when we were really close before, i usually tell that person about anything and everything. i never thought that that person will leave me alone in that important situation. just thinking about what had happened really will make my eyes drained with tears :'( and this semester that person hurt my feeling again when that person should make up to something but that person just wont show up. i thought with that person joining me can give a positive feedback towards my close friends that what i show up with is very beneficial. but, how dare that person change the mind to not going to join in. yeah i knew that they will just laugh at me being so silly showing up with something nonsense that even that person wouldnt want to join in. you do really hurt my heart my friend. really really hurt me. i should really put a distance (?) and maybe i wont take you seriously anymore eventhough we are still friends. thanks for hurting me. THANK YOU SO MUCH

oewfjioqn[fonjfgjfq,

Dyra Haiyi

ayam titanium

baby take my remedy
okay takde kaitan. tak actually just want to express my iwquyefoiugwhkjdk;jv feeling. dia anti aku ke ? WT.. sungguh. dengan kawankawan rapat aku tak pulak kau menyombong. dengan aku je kau nyombong lebih. dah kenapa kau ? sokay. i dont really care by the way. just from now on i will never admit your existence. i am cool liddatt. i will just forget that coincidence. maybe that was just your making fun session i guess. bro, just no. we're not friends.

i'm bulletproof

nothing to lose

fire away , fire away

p/s : i am titanium = ayam titanium

I.AM.TITANIUM,

Dyra Haiyi